The other day I stepped into an elevator and a conversation between two women. One was asking how the other was doing and her response was it was the worst thing you can imagine. I wasn’t there long enough for the exact details, but I’m guessing it’s a pretty short list of options. In reality, over the years I’ve dealt with more than a few items on that list. Short of a gigantic meteor hurtling towards Earth about to kill everyone on the planet, no matter what you fill in the blank with, there is probably something higher on the list. The challenge is recognizing it.
Too Big
Not to minimize any of life’s challenges, but which is really the worst? It’s a rhetorical question. We tend to be overwhelmed by the reality of a divorce, being raped, a cancer diagnosis or a sudden death. Describing something as the worst thing you can imagine gives it power. Sharing that pain generally generates an outpouring of attention which is usually helpful, but can also become addictive. People don’t want the attention to go away so they fall into a victim mentality that many never get out it.
I was recently watching an interview with several POWs from WWII. They said they could pretty much tell which ones were going to survive on day one. Their survival had very little to do with their medical condition. It had mostly to do with attitude. Even the best attitude won’t get you out of some situations, but what if it greatly improved your odds?
What are you going to do about it?
At the risk of getting into cliche’s about life giving you lemons, it’s more than just turning around a bad situation. It’s about reframing the experience. Every negative experience can be a weight on your shoulders or a foundation to stand on. Unfortunately, most people can’t see both options. People spend so much energy trying not to be crushed by the weight they are carrying that they don’t see that they don’t need to carry it any more. It only holds them back from getting where they are supposed to be. If any of this relates to you, I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to buy the idea right away. Sometimes it takes waking up in the ER with multiple IVs and pretty much a full blood transfer. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “Wake up call”. I don’t recommend the experience. Sadly most of us don’t simply take advice from others or words on a page. We have to figure it out for ourselves.
What’s a Sherpa?
Sometimes we know inside that we need to do something different. The question is what? Most people can’t get past not knowing so they don’t try. It helps to find someone that has been there. If you are climbing Mount Everest, you can find a guide or “Sherpa” to get you part of the way. They may have made the whole journey, or only part of it. Either way they move you forward. They typically don’t go the whole way with you, but this is your journey not theirs. They just show you the way.
If you are dealing with the worst thing you can image, I can guarantee there is someone out there that has lived through it. Maybe they figured it out on their own, or maybe someone helped them through it. There are plenty of support groups for most situations, but a Sherpa is different. They aren’t there to share the pain or the experience. They are there to show you the way through it.
